Thursday, April 23, 2015

My beautiful, so-called "eating disorder"


    I was relieved recently to be diagnosed with yet-another psychiatric disorder. It's about time! I've had the same ones for quite a few decades now, and I was beginning to get that "not quite fresh" feeling that we ladies are warned about in those squalid hygiene commercials.
    To make matters worse, I love my "disease," which the doctor called "alarming."
    I am obsessed with eating healthy foods, and only healthy foods. I care more about the virtue of what I eat than the pleasure I receive from eating it. I continue to refine and make more strict my rules for ingestion, although I think I've taken that about as far as it can go. I gladly sacrifice experiences I once enjoyed to eat the food I believe is good for me.. I feel an increased sense of (badly needed) self-esteem because of my well-conceived, conscientious diet, and I reluctantly admit that I disapprove of what most people eat. If I had a social life, my diet would "isolate" me, because I refuse to eat at restaurants anymore, or even at someone's house. If I didn't make it, I don't trust it.   When I am eating the way I am supposed to, I feel a peaceful sense of self control. I would feel guilt or self-loathing if I strayed from my diet, but I never do. I'm not even tempted anymore.
    These factors prove that I have an extreme case of orthorexia, according to "Health Food Junkies: Orthorexia Nervosa: Overcoming the Obsession with Healthful Eating," by Stephen Bratman and David Knight.