![]()  | 
| I don't have a photo of Punky, but this looks very much as she did in 1968 -- sweet and beautiful.  | 
(10/5/12) Dear Punky Fortune:
   
 I have wondered for so many years how things turned out for you, and 
even if you’re still alive. Long after I’d moved to New York, I heard 
that your pimp almost beat you to death. I heard about the heroin. I 
heard that you’d had two kids before you were 20.
   
 I think you must know that whatever role I played in what happened to 
you was unwitting. I hope you realized that I was there with the purest 
of intentions. Decades later, the betrayal that affected all of us, but 
which victimized you and your girlfriends in unspeakable ways, still 
makes me ill. I am so sorry. 
   
 Let me tell you how it happened. It was 1968. The two people who ran 
the Central City Community Action Center thought it was hilarious that I
 had dropped in to see how I, an earnest college student, could “help 
out” with all those “ghetto problems” they were trying to address.
SPITE VS. WHITE
   
 Mainly, Shirley and Victor teased me relentlessly about my whiteness. I
 didn’t mind -- I thought it was pretty unappealing myself. For years, I
 had longed to have some “color” -- some black blood, or Latin or 
Mediterranean or Middle Eastern, in me. I wanted some of that radiance, 
spontaneity, richness, street smarts and strong sense of self that 
people of color seemed to possess. 
![]()  | 
| I was too white for everyone! | 
   
 They tried to scare me off by being incredibly vulgar. I was no prude, 
but they did succeed in shocking me with sexual stuff I’d never heard 
of. I won't repeat it -- there's no point in scarring anybody else for 
life. Even so, I stayed in my chair, pretending to be unfazed by their 
very graphic taunts, hoping they’d see that I was serious, and 
grudgingly think of some way I could contribute.
 MIGHT AS WELL USE THIS CHICK
![]()  | 
| In 1968, I was hopelessly Caucasian and insufferably optimistic.  | 
   
 When Shirley finally said, “Just go on home -- you ain’t no use to us,”
 Victor interjected, “Not so fast, Shirl. I think I’ve got a way we can 
really use this chick.”     
  
 It was that exciting time when President Lyndon Johnson’s Great Society
 had funded thousands of projects around the country to help the poor, 
largely minority populations of the inner cities.
![]()  | 
| President Lyndon Johnson and Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. | 
A CLUELESS HONKY, AT YOUR SERVICE
  
 “What can she do -- she don’t know nothin’!” Shirley jeered. She 
swallowed one spoonful after another of baking soda for her acid-ravaged
 stomach. 
   “Who ARE you?” she said to me. “Are you rich? Because that’s somethin’ we could work with.”
   
 As soon as I’d walked in the door, they had mimicked my prim and proper
 way of speaking, dressing, and sitting, with my legs crossed at the 
ankles like Jackie O, my “perfect hair” and my ballerina posture. 
DOLLFACE WANTS TO GO SLUMMING
    “You’re made up like one of them porcelain dolls,” Shirley heckled me.
   
 They accused me of wanting to use my volunteer work at the Center for 
my own enlightenment -- “gettin’ down with the ’hood” and “going 
slumming” --  which admittedly was part of my motivation. I had lived a 
sheltered, east-side life. I wanted to know some black people. I wanted 
to know some poor people. I wanted to know all kinds of people! I wanted
 to be “part of the solution.” 
THE LAUGHING PANTHER
   
 Victor was masterminding a plan to exploit all that white girlishness 
they‘d been teasing me about. You remember him, don’t you, Punky? -- a 
loose, handsome dude with a smooth Afro who was always laughing, except 
when he was brooding.
  He was a very smart, well-spoken guy, just back from a few years with the Black Panthers in L.A. 
(He was also well-read, a formidable adversary in an argument about anything, and surprisingly attuned to the "cosmic" aspects of life. Of course, I learned all that much later.)
All I knew that day was that he had contempt for me, but he was perfectly willing to use me if he could figure out how.
(He was also well-read, a formidable adversary in an argument about anything, and surprisingly attuned to the "cosmic" aspects of life. Of course, I learned all that much later.)
All I knew that day was that he had contempt for me, but he was perfectly willing to use me if he could figure out how.
    That was OK with me. I was there to be used.
RIGHT ON, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS!
   
 As it turned out, his plan wasn’t at all what I’d envisioned. My 
fantasy was very vague, admittedly, but it involved being in some kind 
of trenches with my newfound “brothers and sisters,” doing the hard but 
noble work that turns hopeless neighborhoods into hopeful ones, and that
 turns chaos into order, with flowerboxes and all that “Miss Whitey 
bullshit,” as Shirley called it. 
OH GREAT: SEND ME TO HAIR AND MAKEUP
   
 “She can work with the teenage girls,” Victor said. “Teach them 
grooming, makeup, fashion, poise, posture. She can give ’em some class. 
They could become models! She can get them ready for the runway.” 
   
 I was dismayed. Wasn’t modeling a rather frivolous undertaking in this 
community that was wracked with crime, drugs, violence, teen pregnancy, 
high dropout rates and unemployment? It seemed like something out of a 
comedy skit to be teaching girls in this environment how to apply eye 
shadow and to coordinate their ensembles with good taste and flair.  
KEEP HER BUSY WITH THAT FASHION CRAP
   
 I felt like Victor was blowing me off -- getting me out of the way -- 
by entangling me in some silly little scheme, instead of letting me try 
to contribute to the important work of neighborhood organizing. 
   
 Plus: I didn’t want to give you young ladies the idea that clothes and 
makeup were what was important (even though they were to me!) I would 
rather help you understand that character was important, and that you 
were beautiful without makeup (even though my character was pretty 
defective, and I was totally addicted to makeup).
THE TEACHER WITH EVERYTHING TO LEARN
   
 And Victor was saying that I could teach you and your friends 
self-esteem, not realizing, perhaps, that I had very little of my own. I
 think that the reason I was such an overachiever was precisely because I
 had so little real, fundamental self-esteem that I was constantly 
seeking affirmation from the outside world.
   
 Victor and Shirley brought a couple of their colleagues in to get their
 input about the modeling classes, and even the clergyman was 
enthusiastic. 
MAKING A DIFFERENCE? MAYBE
   
 The more they threw the idea around, the more convinced they became 
that if I put together a series of “seminars,” it might make a real 
difference in your prospects for a good life. You might come to see 
yourselves in a new light -- as confident, attractive young ladies -- 
with new possibilities and aspirations. 
    I reluctantly admitted that it made sense.
   
 “And what would be cool would be doing a fashion show at the end -- 
sort of like a coming-out party,” Victor said. “We could put up a runway
 and find us some strutting catwalk music, and it would be a big deal 
for them and their parents and the whole community.”
SPREADING THE MESSAGE OF PRIDE AND BEAUTY
   
 This was the era when “Black Pride” and “Black is Beautiful” were 
emerging as important, effective slogans, and it was intriguing to think
 that maybe I could help to advance those concepts.
    I decided to do my best. I didn’t feel qualified to teach any of the classes, but I would find people who were. 
GETTING IT TOGETHER
   
 I got the Elizabeth Arden sales rep  and “makeover” artist at ZCMI to 
agree to handle one session and even bring some free samples. 
   
 I asked David, who’d been cutting my hair since I was in high school, 
if he would contribute, and he was very enthusiastic. He told me he’d 
get a friend of his, a black hairdresser in Ogden, to come in as well, 
since she would have more experience dealing with black people’s hair. 
    
 The two elderly French owners of the charming Main Street boutique, 
Adrien 'n Emilie, agreed to provide the clothes. The Jewish brother and 
sister had fled to America when the Nazis poured into their country. A 
gorgeous woman who was the manager of their shop, a former high-fashion 
model from Venezuela named Carmen, said she would love to give you and 
your friends instruction in the basics of “owning the runway.”
![]()  | 
| I'm white, and I'm proud of you. | 
LAUNCHING A REVOLUTION WITH A LOVELY REPAST
   
 Victor said he’d arrange for me to meet you and the other girls the 
following week. My beautiful mother came up with the idea of having all 
of you over for a Sunday “brunch buffet,” which turned out to be a 
delightful way to launch our relationship, don‘t you think? 
     The guy who drove the Center’s van delivered you six young ladies at mid-morning.
![]()  | 
| She was still so pretty, 35 years after she met you. | 
   
 Punky, I remember so vividly seeing you for the first time. As you 
emerged from the van, and the driver introduced you, I thought “Punky 
Fortune is the absolute cutest name I have ever heard.” And you were one
 of the very cutest girls I had ever seen. 
RACE-MIXING: AN ALCHEMY OF BEAUTY
   
 At that time, I hadn’t had any exposure to “mixed race” people, 
although it’s very common now, but I remember that when Americans were 
learning about Hawaii during the whole statehood debate, we were told 
that Hawaiians were unusually good-looking people because they had so 
many races mixed in.
   
 And you, with your black and Asian blood, were my first face-to-face 
evidence of what a lovely thing “miscegenation” can be: those huge eyes,
 full lips, dark skin and long hair…you were stunning to me. And so 
graceful and sweet. 
INVASION OF THE CUTIE PIES
   
 You were quite reserved, but your friends made up for it, hugging me 
the minute they jumped out of the van, running picks through those big 
Afros, laughing at everything and bursting with energy. 
   
 The hugging part was huge for me. I honestly don’t remember ever having
 been hugged before. We didn’t hug in my family, and I had never been 
hugged by a friend of either gender. It just wasn’t part of the culture 
at that time, although people are hugging constantly these days.
    
 But to be embraced with such warmth and acceptance by you utterly 
exquisite, dear girls really moved me, and I have gotten misty-eyed many
 times since, just thinking about it. I’m afraid I was so surprised by 
the hugs that I didn’t reciprocate -- I just stood there in shock. I 
still feel bad about that. I wish I could have another chance to hug you
 all back.
UH OH: MATERNAL INSTINCTS
   
 Meeting all of you out there as you emerged from the van elicited a 
sensation I’d never had before: I felt maternal, even though I was only 
four years older than you 15-year-olds.  I almost immediately thought of
 you as “my girls,” and I was thrilled at the thought that I might be 
able to make a difference in your lives.
   
 I had never been embarrassed to live in a nice house before, but your 
ecstatic wonderment at every detail of our living space made me feel 
guilty. Everything about the modern design, the artwork, and having our 
own bedrooms, and especially the back yard, with all those trees and 
flowers, made you all swoon.
MIDDLE-CLASS GUILT
  
 I think it was Camille who said, “If this was my house, I’d never 
leave. I’d just turn up the stereo and lay up in here all day.”
    I apologized for the classical music that my mother was playing, but Camille said, “It’s cool, it’s cool, it’s very cool.”
As always, my mother had put together a sumptuous spread -- eggs, sausage, hash browns, grits, biscuits, two kinds of pancakes, chocolate waffles and a huge tropical fruit platter.
As always, my mother had put together a sumptuous spread -- eggs, sausage, hash browns, grits, biscuits, two kinds of pancakes, chocolate waffles and a huge tropical fruit platter.
WHERE WAS THE SULLENNESS AND PROFANITY? 
   
 You did not behave like the “ghetto girls” who were interviewed on the 
nightly news! You were all totally polite and upbeat, and my mother fell
 in love with you, too.
    After we finished, we went over the “modeling lesson plans” I had drafted to see if you had any suggestions.
 I
 remember that Tanya and Adele mentioned some things I hadn’t thought 
of, and you brought up the very important idea of doing some 
role-playing to learn how to apply for work after the training was over.
 They were all wonderful  improvements. We agreed on a schedule, and I 
drove you all home. When we dropped Ida off, I was sick. It looked like she was living in an abandoned building. 
"Her mom is strung out," Punky said.
"Her mom is strung out," Punky said.
A MODEL EDUCATION
  
 The next couple of months were a blast, and it was all because you and 
your friends were such funny, enthusiastic and creative “students.” We 
drove all over town in my mom's Oldsmobile station wagon, and two of you
 always had to lie down in the back compartment for all of us to fit. 
You never complained -- you just stuck your feet out the back window and
 said it felt good to wriggle your toes in the breeze.
    We screamed Motown the whole way:
Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me now, don't you go
Ain't too proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me now, don't you go
   
 When I asked if my open window was bothering anyone, Adele said, "Afros
 don't blow." That was one of several reasons I wished I could have one 
-- I was tired of my hair blowing in my face all the time. You all could
 get out the car looking as perfectly put together as when you got in. I
 was a tangled mess!
   
 I was ambivalent about the session on makeup, because I hated to see 
you kids get into the habit of painting your fresh young faces. It sure 
was fun, though. Diana, the young woman from Elizabeth Arden, had 
brought reps with her from two other classy cosmetics firms that had 
counters at ZCMI, and it totally blew your minds how they could change 
your “look” with different colors and styles of application. 
![]()  | 
| Makeup really can make a difference! | 
COLOR ON TOP OF COLOR
   
 Even though nothing they had was made for black skin, the coral and 
rose blush looked beautiful on you, and the frosted powders and shadows 
and liners and bronzers and contouring tips kept all of us entranced for
 hours. 
   
 We even did some real “out there” stuff, with yellow eyeshadow, 
glitter, and fur lashes. They gave each of you quite a goodie bag to 
take home. It was like Christmas. You were dancing around the room with 
joy.
A FASHIONISTA EXTRAVAGANZA
   
 It was like Christmas yet again when Adrien ’n Emilie opened their 
boutique especially for us on a Sunday and let you girls take over the 
store, trying on everything you wanted, including their stunning array 
of scarves, hats, jewelry and other accessories. 
   
 They were the first shop in the city to carry designer clothes for 
younger people, rather than the Country Club matrons serviced by a 
couple of other shops. I remember you all showing off your hipness in 
“mod” clothes by Evan Picone, Mary Quant and others who were renowned by
 the “in crowd” in Europe. 
STYLIN’ AND PROFILIN’ WITH COUTURE CLASS
   
 Since Adrien and Emilie were quite elderly and very genteel, I was 
afraid they might become a bit alarmed as you girls dashed up and down 
the spiral staircase, your arms filled with stuff to try on, but they 
seemed to be both charmed and touched by your exuberance. Emilie had her
 nephew join us with a Polaroid camera, so he could take “fashion shots”
 of you as you tried on one “groovy” ensemble after another. 
   
 Each of you selected three outfits to wear at the fashion show, and 
they helped you coordinate them with striking accessories -- the 
dramatic earrings, scarves tossed casually over the shoulder, rich 
leather handbags, saucy chapeaus, and boots or shoes.
FROM ‘NAPPY’ TO SOFT AND SHIMMERY
   
 I was so glad the following  week when my hairdresser David’s black 
friend from Ogden brought along another black stylist. Iris and Virginia
 hauled in a whole range of products designed for use on black hair that
 none of us in "Whitey-town" had ever seen (more goodie bags!). Their 
conditioners and styling cremes brought out the softness and shine in 
your friends’ Afros, and they showed all of you a bunch of beautiful 
ways to exploit your natural hair, which you so often characterized as 
raggedy and unmanageable. 
![]()  | 
| I thought "nappiness" was cute. | 
BLACK HAIR AS THE ARTIST’S MEDIUM
   
 None of us had ever seen cornrows before, or dreads, and they showed 
how to relax “frizzy” or “kinky” or “nappy” hair when a different look 
was desired, without using harsh chemicals or heat.
    David gave everyone a good trim, and he added some highlights here and there just for fun.
   
 When Adele insisted that her Afro be cut back to only an inch or so and
 dyed a rich gold, everyone except for Iris tried to talk her out of it.
 It turned out to be dazzling, and many years later it would become 
common for black women to dye their hair blonde.
BEAUTIFUL DRILL SERGEANT DRIVES YOU HARD
   
 The session with Carmen, the Venezuelan former model, was the most 
challenging. Carmen, who was dark, ravishing, and ultra-skinny, with 
long shiny auburn hair, had left the world of professional modeling 
after 10 years of world travel and “too much pressure, too many 
cigarettes and too much cocaine.” 
   
 She was a good-natured but relentless teacher, pushing you to practice 
your moves over and over, until you were ready to collapse. 
LESSONS IN DROP-DEAD REGALITY
   
 “Posture, posture!” she cried. “Pick up those knees! Get those hips in 
gear! Look straight ahead no matter what!”  She insisted that we meet 
the following week, after you’d had time to practice some more. “We’re 
not there yet,” she said.
  
 “Remember: You are proud. You are beautiful. You are FIERCE,” she 
added. “Stand up like a queen -- chin high, shoulders back. Say with 
your eyes ‘I am indestructible.’ And OWN that catwalk ladies. Let 
everyone know by the way you move that you are IT.”
GET OUT THAT SPOTLIGHT
   
 She exhausted all of us, but I think we all appreciated that she cared 
so intensely. And after the subsequent session, she pronounced you 
“ready for prime-time.”
   
 I was pretty much just the Mama Cat in all these sessions -- the 
chauffer and the encourager-in-chief. I had very little -- really, 
nothing -- to contribute. 
LIVING THROUGH ‘MY CHILDREN’
   
 I got quite a bit of vicarious pleasure from the various lessons, 
though. I had never had a “makeover” at a cosmetics counter, and I‘d 
never used department-store makeup. Mine was the cheapest stuff you 
could buy, on sale, at the drugstore.
    
 I had never bothered trying on such expensive clothes as the ones you 
chose at the boutique, because I knew I’d never buy them. 
I WANT AN AFRO! WHOOPS, NEVER MIND
   
 And the ironic thing about the hair issue is that I had wanted an Afro 
for years. Your friends were always stroking my hair, saying how they 
yearned for tresses that were smooth and shiny -- hair that rippled in 
the breeze, hair you could “toss” -- which they felt gave white girls a 
big advantage in the flirtation department (it does come in handy). 
   
 A few years later, after I’d moved to New York, I took the plunge, and 
got a "permanent wave" that was so tight I hoped to wind up with a nice 
big Afro. 
![]()  | 
| Be careful what you wish for. | 
   
 What a disaster! I couldn’t even get a comb or brush through it. It 
wasn’t even hair anymore, it was some crazy kind of fur. I had to have 
it all cut off. Served me right, I guess, for not being grateful for 
what I had.
BACKSTAGE JITTERS AND EXCITEMENT
   
 On the night of the big “coming out” fashion show, the scene backstage 
was just like it is on TV, with all you models, sitting on stools in 
front of mirrors, being touched up, combed out and perfectly poured into
 you various ensembles.
    We were nervous, but thrilled that it was really happening.
   
 Each of you had your three outfits lined up with all the right 
accessories, and we had practiced quite hilariously the art of stripping
 out of one ensemble on the way to slipping into the next, as if we were
 at Fashion Week in New York (except that they were too stupid to use 
black models -- we were way ahead of the Big City in that regard).
SOUL MUSIC AND SPARKLING LIGHT
   
 The music was already blaring away out there in the gym, and Victor had
 somehow found a big disco ball to hang over the runway. It was sending 
sparks of colored light around the room. 
   
 There were lots of people already milling around, drinking Kool-Aid and
 smoking. Some of the kids were doing “The Bump” as tunes by Wilson 
Pickett, Sam and Dave, The Temptations, James Brown, Aretha, Sly and the
 Family Stone, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder and The Supremes played. 
PUNKY DEAR, YOU ARE SUPREME
    You once told me you wished more than anything that you could be as pretty as Diana Ross. 
Punky -- honest to god -- you were way prettier than she. You were ravishing. More importantly, you were a young lady with character and dignity. You were lovable!
Punky -- honest to god -- you were way prettier than she. You were ravishing. More importantly, you were a young lady with character and dignity. You were lovable!
    I had hoped to meet your mother that night and tell her so, but she never showed up.
   
 I was shocked to learn quite awhile after that night that only two 
parents came, and one of them left with some guy before the show even 
started. That is so sad. It still makes me sick. 
HOT, DARK AND CLAUSTROPHOBIC
   
 Finally, it was show time. I was manically chewing one piece of Juicy 
Fruit after another. I went out into the gym just as the spotlight came 
on and our DJ from Job Corps took the mike to announce, “Here come the 
smokin’ ladies of Central City!”  The music blared forth, and the 
strutting of my darling “glam girls” began.
   
 I was standing in back. It was hot and claustrophobic in there. It was 
quite dark, except for the spotlight, and to be honest, I felt kind of 
uneasy. 
A DISQUIETING PREMONITION
    I realized that it wasn’t the kind of crowd I’d expected. I thought it would be a very wholesome community celebration. 
   
 There were a few kids and a few women, but mostly it was dudes, looking
 up at you -- my dear, bright-eyed teenagers -- as you paraded past, 
with that saucy, hot-stuff walk you’d practiced so diligently. It looked
 as if some of them were taking notes.
VICTOR LAUGHED
    My heart was sinking before I even knew why.
    Victor came and stood beside me. He laughed.
    “You did your job,” he said, poking me in the ribs.
    “Those men….” I said. “What is going on here?”
   
 “What did you expect?” Victor replied. “You know there’s no jobs for 
black models. Here or anywhere else. Who did you think was going to hire
 them? You fool! But you groomed ‘em good. They’re ready to be turned 
out. Before you know it, they‘ll be out on Second West in hotpants, 
struttin‘ their stuff. And thanks to you, they know how to strut it 
right.”
A FINISHING SCHOOL FOR LITTLE HOOKERS
   
 “Turned out” was a phrase I’d actually come across in my Black 
literature class. It’s used by pimps to describe the process of 
manipulating a girl into prostitution, usually by using some combination
 of flattery and fear.
   
 “Don’t give me that bullshit look of being shocked,” Victor said. 
“You’re not stupid. You can’t play the innocent card with me. Have you 
looked around this neighborhood? Have you looked around this fucking 
COUNTRY? There’s nothing out there for these chicks. Punky’s probably 
the only one who would even have finished high school. They earn it on 
their backs, or they go on welfare. So you can go home feelin’ good 
about yourself -- that was the idea, right? They’ll be working girls. 
That’s better than the alternative.”  
A HORRIBLE BETRAYAL, AND I WAS PART OF IT
   
 “Victor, you know this isn’t what I thought was going to happen…it’s a 
total betrayal," I said, holding back tears. “They’re just kids!”
  
 “Maybe this will teach you not to be stickin’ your nose in shit you 
don’t understand,” he replied harshly. “Just get on out of here, and go 
back to your Miss Whitey life. Leave us the fuck alone. And don‘t worry 
about your babies -- they‘ll be so strung out on ‘Big H’ that they won‘t
 be feelin‘ a thing.”    
I SLINK BACK INTO MY NICELY DECORATED HOLE  
   
 I did get out of there, and I never went back. What I don’t remember, 
Punky, is why I didn’t do something -- contact the authorities, I’m not 
sure what. I think I felt so stupid and guilty and embarrassed that I 
wanted to forget it ever happened. I probably was afraid that anything I
 did might make matters worse.
   
 Spring quarter ended, I started a full-time job on campus, working for 
the University’s provost, and living in the dorms, with my boyfriend 
just one dorm away. That was convenient. I guess I did go back to my 
Miss Whitey life.
A TOO-LATE TURNAROUND
   
 What’s ironic is that eventually Victor and I became very good friends.
 A number of people have found it hard to understand how this could 
happen. What he did to you and your friends was despicable, and so was 
involving me. 
It's important to realize that Victor was a young man who had just come out of a deep immersion in L.A. Black Panther militancy. I respected this group, because I believed that their radicalism was justified, given the brutal racial situation in this country, which our politicians continued to ignore (and still do, as far as I'm concerned).
Victor had returned to Salt Lake City determined to maintain the cold, harsh tone of Panther dogma, which understandably demonized white people. He believed in it. I never blamed him for the way he treated me.
The way he treated you girls was another story, of course, and the only explanation I have for how he could brutalize his own people that way is that Panther culture was notoriously sexist. Women were expected to help advance the revolution "on their backs," as one guy put it, and otherwise to get out of the way. Like all political movements, it wasn't perfect, and I'm deeply sorry that you were victimized by one of its major flaws.
Over time, Victor came to realize how cruel and misguided he had been, and he expressed remorse many times. He became a force for good in our city, and he earned the respect and affection of both the white and black communities.
Victor and I developed a powerful platonic connection, and I loved him. I still do.
It's important to realize that Victor was a young man who had just come out of a deep immersion in L.A. Black Panther militancy. I respected this group, because I believed that their radicalism was justified, given the brutal racial situation in this country, which our politicians continued to ignore (and still do, as far as I'm concerned).
Victor had returned to Salt Lake City determined to maintain the cold, harsh tone of Panther dogma, which understandably demonized white people. He believed in it. I never blamed him for the way he treated me.
The way he treated you girls was another story, of course, and the only explanation I have for how he could brutalize his own people that way is that Panther culture was notoriously sexist. Women were expected to help advance the revolution "on their backs," as one guy put it, and otherwise to get out of the way. Like all political movements, it wasn't perfect, and I'm deeply sorry that you were victimized by one of its major flaws.
Over time, Victor came to realize how cruel and misguided he had been, and he expressed remorse many times. He became a force for good in our city, and he earned the respect and affection of both the white and black communities.
Victor and I developed a powerful platonic connection, and I loved him. I still do.
   
 He mellowed into a very all-embracing guy after getting over his 
conviction that all white people were evil. We hung out a lot, and he 
even took me to meet his very warm, gracious mother and chess-genius 
younger brother, Johnny, in a nice, modest home on 1100 East. 
I admired his mind so much, and I regarded him as a gifted philosopher (and even a sort of mystic). He later taught Black literature for awhile at the University of Utah, in addition to his work for the Community Action Program.
He became the state's first Black Ombudsman.
I admired his mind so much, and I regarded him as a gifted philosopher (and even a sort of mystic). He later taught Black literature for awhile at the University of Utah, in addition to his work for the Community Action Program.
He became the state's first Black Ombudsman.
   
 After I moved back East, I always saw him on my visits home. We’d go 
out drinking and dancing, or to Porters and Waiters for some good 
Southern cooking. He had enrolled in law school, and although his 
chaotic personal life made it difficult for him to focus, he is so 
intelligent that he readily grasped the concepts and values of our legal
 system. He graduated, passed the Bar exam, and established a small practice devoted to assisting the poor.
‘THE PUNKY YOU KNEW IS LONG GONE’
   
 I always asked about you, Punky. For a long time, he claimed not to 
know anything, but he finally did tell me about your being beaten up so 
badly, about the heroin and about your kids. The last time I asked him 
if he knew how you were, he said, “She’s fat and fucked up.”
    Then he laughed and said, “Not really -- who knows what’s up with Punky. The Punky you knew is long gone.”
I'm afraid that the Victor we knew is pretty far gone as well. He is still a striking figure, with a huge silvery Afro and a modest beard, but he is frail. He's been in the hospital several times. As deep and brilliant as he is, he never settled down into a manageable lifestyle, and he never took care of himself. (Victor has now died, seven months after I posted this article. I have appended his obituary below.)
It's all so sad, Punky. So many beautiful people down the drain. I pretty much went down the drain, too, but mine was a "segregated drain" -- for white girls who never learned to stay in their own neighborhooods and mind their own business.
I'm afraid that the Victor we knew is pretty far gone as well. He is still a striking figure, with a huge silvery Afro and a modest beard, but he is frail. He's been in the hospital several times. As deep and brilliant as he is, he never settled down into a manageable lifestyle, and he never took care of himself. (Victor has now died, seven months after I posted this article. I have appended his obituary below.)
It's all so sad, Punky. So many beautiful people down the drain. I pretty much went down the drain, too, but mine was a "segregated drain" -- for white girls who never learned to stay in their own neighborhooods and mind their own business.
ARE YOU OUT THERE, PUNKY?
    So, my darling girl, I guess you’re about 58 years old. Are you out there, are you safe, did things get any better for you?
   
 I have been haunted by what happened to you and your lovable friends 
for all these years. I’ve had so many experiences since then that were 
troubling, challenging, dramatic or painful -- and in which I was 
sometimes a victim myself  -- but this one really kicked me in the 
stomach, because I was complicit, however unwittingly, in the 
victimization of others. The guilt and sadness remain vivid. I’m sure 
I’ll never get over it. I hope you did.
***************************
    
  
The saga of Victor's fall from grace as the state's black ombudsman. I wrote this in 1979.
http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=336&dat=19791105&id=LJMqAAAAIBAJ&sjid=p1sEAAAAIBAJ&pg=5079,1133091
***************************
Victor Marshall Gordon
Victor Marshall Gordon
1939 ~ 2011
   Victor Marshall Gordon, attorney at law, writer and civil rights 
activist, passed away Thursday, November 3, 2011. Victor was born in 
Salt Lake City on February 6, 1939. He received his law degree in 1978 
from the University of Utah. Also In 1978, Victor became the Black 
Ombudsman of Utah. 
Victor was preceded in death by his parents John Marshall Gordon and Oma Gordon-Prescott and his son Victor Etienne Gordon.
He is survived by life partner, Sandra; siblings Camille, Johnny, and Angie; daughters Elysha, Tristyn, and Megara; step-children Malka, Miriam, David, and Deborah; seven grandchildren; two great-grandchildren; and five nieces and nephews.
A memorial service will be held this Friday, November 11, 2011 at the Calvary Baptist Church 1090 South State St. S.L.C., UT 84111 at 12:00 p.m.
Victor was preceded in death by his parents John Marshall Gordon and Oma Gordon-Prescott and his son Victor Etienne Gordon.
He is survived by life partner, Sandra; siblings Camille, Johnny, and Angie; daughters Elysha, Tristyn, and Megara; step-children Malka, Miriam, David, and Deborah; seven grandchildren; two great-grandchildren; and five nieces and nephews.
A memorial service will be held this Friday, November 11, 2011 at the Calvary Baptist Church 1090 South State St. S.L.C., UT 84111 at 12:00 p.m.
Published in The Salt Lake Tribune on November 8, 2011
                                
The saga of Victor's fall from grace as the state's black ombudsman. I wrote this in 1979.
http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=336&dat=19791105&id=LJMqAAAAIBAJ&sjid=p1sEAAAAIBAJ&pg=5079,1133091
My clumsy efforts to aid in the battle for civil rights continue in these posts: http://kronstantinople.blogspot.com/2011/08/it-simmered-so-long-it-was-bound-to-be.html
http://kronstantinople.blogspot.com/2011/08/bless-her-heart-gal-from-up-north-is.html
Readers tell me that this story, about the downfall of a truly great man, is "devastating." It certainly was (and is) for me, since my journalistic assignment is what triggered it:
http://kronstantinople.blogspot.com/2012/05/thanks-miss-bleeding-heart.html





































