Wednesday, June 8, 2011

It makes perverse scents: Diabolical aroma chemists still aren't out of breath

'Pure' Dove couldn't resist offering a chemical version of sakura blossoms.
    (May 2014) More than 18 months ago, we published a two-part series on the drenching of our lives in synthetic aromas, which have been implicated in a number of serious conditions and diseases, including cancer.
    Everywhere we go, and every product that we use, immerses us in the feel-good scents of nature and yummy desserts. They sure don't seem toxic, do they?
    We're getting more addicted to a life that consists of one olfactory ecstasy after another, and the global industry is broadening its range of products and chemical wizardry. Their stated aim is actually to change our mood and behavior, whether we are housecleaning, driving, at work, shopping, or gambling.
    At this point, every time we breathe or wash our hair, it's a gamble. And now, "pure" Dove has gotten into the act.


The scent of nectarine belongs on your neck!
    What will they think of next?
    Our two initial blog posts are still in viral mode, with readers all over the world. They are "Holy Sheet: Elderly Girl Could Lie Here Forever" ( and "Non-Scents!" Elderly Girl Declares (  
    Our latest news in this ever news-generating industry is that the Dove brand (which has been claiming to be so pure and simple for all these years) couldn't resist synthesizing and chemicalizing a  whole new line of shower and moisturising products that will "leave you in peaceful tranquility while nourishing and pampering you." (Some beauty bloggers claim quite persuasively that Dove's products have always had just as many synthetic, potentially harmful, ingredients as all the others, but that it camouflaged this "pollution" with its white, lightly scented formulations.)
    But now Dove has plunged shamelessly into the "exotic" arena, which is, without a doubt, a chemical stew.
    It's aggressively marketing its new products that are "redolent" of coconut and jasmine, almond cream and hibiscus, "harmonious plum" and sakura blossoms, whipped cream and green tea, nectarine and white ginger.
    None of it is real, of course -- it's bizarre configurations of molecules that there's no way you can even pronounce. Aren't test tubes and professional "nasal consultants" great???  Can you even remember a time when you weren't being assaulted from all sides by "experiential" scents?
    Elderly Girl got sick of it years ago. How about you? 
    And those same companies that whip up rapturous scents are creating all those "natural" flavors that make processed foods so irresistibleIt is a global, multibillion-dollar industry that is monopolizing the time of some very inventive scientists. Think of all the good they could be doing in our world if they weren't busy perfecting fake "boysenberry" and "raspberry" in a place like this:

Strawberry fields forever.
     They make a peach chemical that goes into lip gloss, detergent and frozen cobbler. Yum! The subtle lavender in your toilet bowl cleaner is in your "serene moments" body wash as well. A flavor that so far only has a number is used in both men's deodorant and sweet-and-sour chicken TV dinners. That minty freshness (no mint involved) might be your gum, or perhaps it's your pantiliner. Or it could be in the green jelly you dumped on your lamb entree. Most likely, it's in all three.
    Whatever. It -- like the other 85,000 aroma and flavoring chemicals in use today -- has not been tested for safety or approved by the government. 
    I think everything should smell like mint, but it grows so easily and spreads so readily, that there's no need to fake it. Maybe if our country had more of a "julep" vibe, we'd stop making so much mischief around the world and just be nice and perky.
Studies say women use hundreds of chemicals on their bodies daily.
Many of them are proven hormone disruptors.